Happygood Funny Blog

Fun with spam, Lesson #113

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Content generators – we used to call them writers and reporters – are having a tough couple years. But they can rest easy on this evidence that, of the many indignities they may suffer, offshoring their jobs isn’t likely to be one of them anytime soon:

__________________

Sender: ydasyl@aol.com
Subject:     We transform one dollar into one thousand!
Date:          November 28, 2009 3:10:53 PM EST

Do you dream to have a rest ...

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The largest wing ever built – and it’s not on a plane

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The largest wing ever built was installed this morning on the next U.S. America’s Cup competitor – a 90’x90′ carbon-fiber trimaran built and raced by BMW Oracle Racing.

Replacing traditional fabric sails, the wing is the largest ever built. It’s 190 feet tall and 80 percent larger than the wing of a Boeing 747, according to the BMW Oracle Racing website.

Gentle trials (really on gentle) will begin immediately, culminating in a race against the Swiss defender Alinghi in February. The ...

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So the Yankees won the World Series…

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… and the sun came up this morning. (But you couldn’t see it in Cleveland.)

Iran is on, no off, no on again, and off again in negotiations over uranium enrichment. Jon Stewart made me laugh again, and Rush Limbaugh is about to pop an artery over something or another. My son left the lid up; my daughter stepped right over a pile of her clean laundry in the hall for the fourth straight day.

Another ...

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In retrospect, was hanging chad so bad?

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After 232 years of the USA you’d think we’d be pretty advanced at managing elections by now. But I’ve got this sick feeling we’re getting worse at it.

Back when I was a kid, my parents voted in mini-van-sized booths with curtains, dozens of little levers and one big, red master lever. When you pulled that, you got an audible whrrrr and a click to tell you your vote had been cast; you could see all of the little levers reset, ...

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That crazy Mr. Ferguson in Dubai

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Least convincing spam-scam of the week

Subject: Your NAMES was used, Call Me:1-814-796-7443.

Attention please,
Your full names/data’s was used to execute a huge Contract in Dubai
without your consent and you have refused to give a correspondence reply
to My messages, why?
Presently I am on Official assignment in US due to My Bank push towards
acquiring a Bank here in US and an be reached via: “SARGENT’S COURT
REPORTUAL INC. 174 E College Ave Bellefonte PA, in USA: 1-814-796-7443”.
This ...

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Playing the Twitter shellgame

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I’m not giving up on Twitter. Yet. There are still a handful of people whose Tweets are interesting and useful to me.

But it’s a stupid game.

It has nothing to do with how much you have to say or how often you say it. It has everything to do with how many people you follow. I recently attended a webcast on how to build a social network on Twitter. The basic advice: follow a lot of people and they’ll ...

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Wal-Mart redesign cuts magazine aisle in half

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Last week I wrote about Wal-Mart’s next-generation store design (Magazines: kick ’em when they’re down), which moves the magazine rack to the back of the store near music, electronic games, DVD’s and books.

Wal-Mart’s pretty good at figuring out how to maximize the sales of every square foot of space, so while the move is a symbolic kick in the pants to an industry that is suffering from all sorts of afflictions — not the least of which is a ...

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So the QB will give the snap-count just a little bit slower.

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The following item is reprinted in its entirety from The Plain Dealer, Tuesday, Sept. 15:

3 current players to donate brains for study of injuries

Three NFL players announced Monday they will donate their brains and spinal cord tissues to a Boston University medical school program that studies sports brain injuries.

Even though dozens of former NFL players have agreed to donate their brains after death, center Matt Birk of the Baltimore Ravens, linebacker Lofa Tatupu of the Seattle Seahawks and receiver Sean ...

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Where were you on 9/11?

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I don’t necessarily make a conscious effort to note the anniversary of the moment the 9/11 nightmare began. But every year, within a couple minutes of 8:52 a.m.,  I seem to look at my watch and then I remember.

I was in a hotel in the Rosemont area near Chicago O’Hare aiport. I was beginning a sales trip and was ironing my shirt while watching the Today Show.

I remember the first sketchy report that a plane hit one of the World ...

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